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programing
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1996-04-07
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44 lines
\* QUOTES FILE
\* Programming extensions
\*
%%
DOWNDATE - Similar to the UPDATE directive, but restores the file to what it was before you screwed it up.
%%
ON DISASTER - Similar to ON ERROR GOTO only it doesn't go anywhere. It just quits processing and dumps all
the files, the program, a cross reference listing, and that names and telephone numbers of every
^knowlegeable programmer and analyst in the country.
%%
MAYBE - A qualifier for conditional branch instructions. Branches about 50% of the time and should be used
^when the user isn't sure what he/she wants.
%%
HOWEVER - A qualifier for branching instructions that is a combination of WHILE, UNLESS, UNTIL, and THEN.
^Its outcome is uncertain and should be used only when the program specs are vauge.
%%
%%
SET BELLS - When encoutered, this instruction will sound 70 bells, reverse the screen, and blink 20 times
^in double-wide, double-high characters: "OK, YA GOT HERE! SO WADDYA WANT, A MEDAL?"
%%
AUTOTIMER - This instruction pulls the plug and invokes the DISASTER routine when your program exceeds 5
^minutes CPU time.
%%
KAMIKAZE - This lifesaver is a combination of KILL and DELETE. It is placed beyond the END statement. If
^the program ever gets there, it will delete all of the data files in your account, and itself, then force
^a hardware malfunction, allowing you to save face.
%%
DOSOMETHINGQUICK - When this instruction is encountered, it will transfer control to the AGREEA.BLE
^program package, which will accept any kind of garbage, mix it up a little, and display on the terminal
^portions of scripture taken from the Psalms. The only parameter is pointed to on entry by R5, and is
^completely ignored.
%%
TRYANOTHERTECNIQUE - This timesaver is utilized when you can't get a program to work. It shuffles your
^variables around and gives you another crack at it. When the machine stumbles onto the right
^solution, it SAVEs the program and gives you all the credit.
%%
/DOCUMENTATION - This neat instruction will scan the program for keywords, access the BUREAUCRATIC.WORDS
^database with a random technique, blend the words together, and spit out 30 pages of incomprehensible jargon.
%%
/GRAMMAR - Analyzes your syntax and makes any necessary changes
%%
/LOGIC - Analyzes you logic and unkinks it.
%%